If you told me a year ago that I’d be lying in bed with a water-cooled mattress pad, a ring on my finger tracking every twitch, and a sound machine simulating a forest I’ve never actually visited, I would have laughed. I’m a wellness coach. I should have this figured out, right? But here’s the uncomfortable truth — I was sleeping terribly, and I couldn’t figure out why. My training was solid, my nutrition was dialed in, I was doing breathwork before bed. And yet I’d wake up feeling like I’d gone ten rounds with a heavy bag. So I…

Sixty days ago, I mounted a giant glowing rectangle to my bathroom wall and started standing in front of it every morning like some kind of photosynthesizing houseplant. My husband walked in, looked at me bathed in crimson light, and slowly backed out without saying a word. Fair enough. Red light therapy devices have exploded onto the wellness scene over the past couple of years, and if you’ve spent any time scrolling through health content, you’ve probably seen them. Sleek panels promising everything from younger-looking skin to faster muscle recovery to better sleep. The marketing is seductive. The price tags…